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Silent Tears by Beaumont Todd
THE BAHAMAS CRISIS CENTRE
Silent Tears
What are the Long-Term Consequences of Child Abuse and Neglect?
According to Childwelfare.gov the long-term consequences of child abuse and neglect (child maltreatment) can be profound and may endure long after the abuse or neglect occurs. Effects can appear in childhood, adolescence, or adulthood, and may affect various aspects of an individual’s development (e.g., physical, cognitive, psychological, and behavioral).
These effects range in consequence from minor physical injuries, low self-esteem, attention disorders, and poor peer relations to severe brain damage, violent behavior, and death. However, while maltreated children are at greater risk for these negative effects, many children are resilient in the face of adversity.
Sally was a nine year old girl who always seemed distracted in class and would never pay attention during her lessons. She used to be a very active child in school. She would be excited to answer questions and participate in all class activities. Her teacher noticed a change in her behavior. Whereas she was happy to participate before she now was reluctant to answer questions or outright refused to participate in class activities..
After trying to get through to Sally her teacher spoke to the principal, who in turn contacted her mother. After having a meeting with her mother the principal found out that her mother had lost her job. Unable to manage the stress from looking for work and the pressure from trying to provide for her family, she had developed a severe case of depression. This led to her coming home and taking out her anger on her children. She started shouting at them or blaming them for her problems.
Sally not knowing how to relate or understand the sudden change in her mother became withdrawn and started to not eat due to a lack of an appetite. She blamed himself for her mother’s problems.
Healing the Nation
All forms of abuse hurt! Child abuse seems to be one of the most destructive forms of abuse in our society today. For whatever form it may take child abuse does not just affect the present situation in our communities and nation but also our future stability and progress. Considering that many of the children that are abused grow to be abused adults, who carry the same scars of child hood within themselves. Unless they seek or are given help to heal those wounds incurred as a child, these same adults will practice or continue their same learnt behavior into adulthood. This will in turn affect their relationships, possibly work ethics and even the manner in which they raise and treat their own children.
What is child abuse?
Child Abuse has been defined as an act, or failure to act, on the part of a parent or caretaker that results in the death, serious physical or emotional harm, Sexual Abuse, or exploitation of a child or which places the child in an imminent risk of serious harm.
Child abuse can occur in any number of ways including Physical Abuse, Emotional Abuse and Neglect and Sexual Abuse. Today’s discussion focuses on Emotional Abuse and Neglect. Emotional Abuse and Neglect can go from mild to very extreme cases. However even a mild case of emotional abuse or neglect can greatly affect a child’s development and ability to perform.
CHILD ABUSE IS EVERYONE’S PROBLEM.
Emotional Child Abuse and Neglect
Emotional abuse is the repeated rejection and humiliation of a child, constant negative communication, withholding love and affection and the ultimate destruction of the child’s self-esteem.
Signs of emotional abuse can include physical problems resulting from stress, poor performance at school or low self-esteem.
The child may appear depressed, excessively passive or aggressive, experience sleep problems and have slow development.
Neglect is the failure, intentional or unintentional, of a parent or guardian to provide food, shelter, clothing, health care and education for a child.
Signs of neglect can include unkempt appearance, lack of medical or dental care, and developmental lags.
A child who is neglected may beg for food, steal, show lack of interest in anything, appear flat, tired and listless, and have constant fatigue.
We are one people created equal by God and for the purpose of loving and being loved. Let us work together to heal ourselves, families, communities, nation and world.
For more information check out our website at http://www.bahamascrisiscentre.org or contact us. Email us at bahamascrisiscentre@yahoo.com or call us at 328-0922. If you have, or someone you know, has been the victim of child abuse, you can also call Child Protective Services on 322-2POD, 326-1451, 326-0526 or 326-5560 or the Child Abuse Hotline: 322-2763
When a Home is not a Home during the Holidays by Beaumont Todd
THE BAHAMAS CRISIS CENTRE
When Home is Not A Home During the holidays
Nancy Vega of Maria Droste Counseling Center located in Colorado in Domestic Violence and the Holidays: A Survivors Guide states, “The holidays are often thought of as the best time of the year. It is a time for loved ones, celebration, and joy. However, for victims of domestic violence, the holidays can be a very dark and scary time. Unrealistic expectations, financial pressures, and the increased consumption of alcohol can raise stress levels, which can contribute to incidents of domestic violence.”
Since the holiday season is supposed to be the best time of the year, many people have high expectations. These can include giving the best gifts, balancing time effectively, getting along with family, and having an abundance of holiday spirit. Many people can become stressed while trying to live up to these heightened expectations, and feel devastated if they fail. Before the holidays, it is important to set realistic expectations and realize that things may not go as planned.
Financial pressures and the stress of having a tight budget can feel more overwhelming during the holidays. The expectations of buying the best gifts can increase anxiety about how to handle the many added expenses. Some simple steps can help with stress management during the holidays. One way to help with financial strain is to develop a holiday budget and plan of action. Be realistic about gift giving; give gifts that your budget allows, whether that include store-bought or homemade items. Prioritizing gift giving and resisting external pressure and the internal urge to overspend can decrease holiday stress.
Another component of the holidays is the serving and drinking of alcohol. Sometimes, individuals will use alcohol and other substances to cope with holiday stress. However, drinking as a coping strategy often doesn’t help because the ability to cope decreases as the amount of alcohol consumed increases. While hosting holiday parties, offer a selection of non-alcoholic beverages and stop serving alcohol at least one hour before the party ends. Consider attending a help group if you or a family member has struggled with alcohol dependency. The meetings can be one of the most important steps to reduce the level of stress during the holidays. Seeking out further assistance, such as addiction counseling, can also help you handle the stress of the holidays.
Domestic violence is more likely to occur when stress levels are high. During the holidays, unrealistic expectations, financial strain, and alcohol can increase stress, and therefore, incidents of domestic violence. If you find that you are in a domestic violence situation, it is important to have a safety kit in case you have to exit a dangerous situation quickly. This kit should be hidden in a safe place and should include emergency numbers, a bag of clothing and toiletries, important documents such as birth certificates and a driver’s license, medication, prescriptions, car keys, house keys, and cash.
There is help for persistent stress, worry, anxiety, depression, or overall negativity during the holidays. Finding the right therapist where you can have a safe place to get support and empowerment during difficult times can be helpful. Therapy can help with stress management, mood and relationships, and confidence and empowerment.”
Healing The Nation
Holidays are a time of family, love and sharing. A time to rekindle bonds and be grateful for those loved ones and friends we all have grown to appreciate, new and faithful. Yet regardless of the time of year or season many persons are living within an environment of fear, pain and abuse. During this time of celebration and joy many individuals are continued victims of violence, spousal abuse, rape and other violent and heinous acts. While many of us look forward to the reverie, partying and celebration others fear the result when their loved ones who hurt and abuse them comes home from a night of partying.
How you can help?
Most people know someone, or of someone, who is a victim of domestic violence. It may be someone in your family, a church member or a colleague in the work place. So what can you do to help, a love one or friend to not be a victim of violence or abuse during this season or any other time?
– Be alert to possible signs of domestic violence in your workplace; co-workers who are increasingly late or absent, unable to concentrate on their work, attempting to cover bruises or are just distracted and withdrawn.
– Neighbors, friends or family members may have isolated themselves feeling that the abuse is their fault.
- Encourage your friend, co-worker or family member to talk to you and assure them that they can trust you and that you will believe them.
– Do not be judgmental and let them know they do not have to stay in an abusive relationship.
– Suggest they obtain a Protective Order.
It can be very distressing to suspect or know someone you know, a family member, a friend, a colleague in the work place or a neighbor, is being abused. There may be a feeling of helplessness that you cannot do anything to assist. If the person is an adult, you cannot force them to make a report to the Police or to talk to someone, but you can encourage them to do so. Many victims of violence feel that nothing can be done to change their situation so the first step is to let them know that there is help available.
We are one people created equal by God and for the purpose of loving and being loved. Let us work together to heal families, communities, nation, world and ourselves.
ANYONE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, CAN CALL THE CRISIS CENTRE ON 328-0922 OR 322-4999. ANYONE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER SHOULD CALL THE POLICE ON 911, 919.
For more information check out our website at http://www.bahamascrisiscentre.org or contact us by email at bahamascrisiscentre@yahoo.com.
Date Rape by Beaumont Todd
THE BAHAMAS CRISIS CENTRE
Date Rape
Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. While the term has several meanings, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple.
Dating is meant to be an enjoyable pastime and opportunity to get to know someone new. Unfortunately along with the joy of dating there are also dangers that in the social climate we live in today that you must be aware of while dating. One of those is the danger of date rape.
Date rape is a scary topic. It is hard to believe that someone you know and trust would ever hurt you or someone you are getting to know. However, it does happen and it is never your fault. You cannot always prevent it happening but there are ways to lower the risk.
What is Date Rape?
Date rape refers to rape committed by a person, who could be a friend, acquaintance or stranger, against a victim. It is commonly referred to drug facilitated sexual assault or an acquaintance rape. Sexual assault is any sexual act done to someone without their consent. Drug facilitated sexual assault is any sexual assault where alcohol and/or drugs affect the victim’s ability to give informed consent. Acquaintance rape is an assault or attempted assault usually committed by a new acquaintance involving sexual intercourse without consent.
With the increase in technology, it has become easier to communicate with persons. Utilizing the internet many persons start relationships that begin in cyberspace but can eventually move from behind the screen to more personal and intimate relationship. However this does not always mean the person you might have begun a relationship on line is the same person you will meet in person. Regardless of the circumstance in which you meet another person you should always take steps to protect yourself.
Even with meeting persons in a conventional manner you have to be careful and do what you can to protect yourself, and ensure your safety at all times.
NO means NO!
Healing the Nation
Dating is a normal, respectable and should be enjoyable way to meet and get to know new people. Many intimate and lasting relationships or even friendships can come out of dating. However this does not mean it does not have its dangerous side, where a person can be placed in harm’s way and be placed in a circumstance where they are abused, assaulted, raped or even lose their lives. This does not just happen to young teenagers but more experienced and mature individuals as well. The following are some tips you can follow whether a teen or adult to ensure you can enjoy dating to its fullest and still remain safe.
1. Always remember, you have the right to say NO even if:
• You have been drinking
• You have had sex previously
• You have been making out
• You are dressed in sexy clothes
• You think he or she will be mad with you
• You have said yes before but have now changed your mind
2. Be careful and trust your instincts
• It is safer to stay in a group of friends or with another couple
• Try not to be alone with someone you do not know well or with whom you feel uncomfortable
3. Signs of Date Rape are when someone forces you to have sex.
This can be:
• Threatening to hurt you
• Not stopping when you say No
• Using a weapon to scare you
• Forcing you down
• Having sex with you when you are too drunk to say No
• Tells you that if you do not give in, they will tell other people you had sex with them
• Threatening you that something bad will happen if you do not give in
• Threatens to harm themselves if you do not give in
4. Communicate clearly
• Say NO very clearly and firmly to anyone who is pushing you to have sex with them
• Remember if the person does not listen to your saying NO, it is not your fault
• Do not be afraid of hurting someone’s feelings if you say no
5. Be in Control
• Being in control means that you say what you want and mean it
• Call a friend or family member if you feel unsafe
• Avoid alcohol and drugs so that you can stay in control of the situation
• Always have some money with you so you can call a taxi
• Make sure your cell phone has minutes so you can make a call if you feel unsafe
6. Danger signs
• If you feel uncomfortable with a person standing too close to you or staring at you, it is not a good idea to be alone with that person
• If the person does not listen to you at other times, they may not listen to you when you are alone and want to make your feelings clear about having sex
• Anyone who seems to enjoy making you uncomfortable is not someone you should be alone with
7. If you are afraid to say NO
• If you feel it is unsafe for you to say No, make an excuse to leave to go the bathroom and make a call to a friend or family member to come and pick you up.
• If you have to lie to protect yourself, that is OK …your safety is the most important thing
8. If the person does not listen to you
• Say it again…very loudly and clearly!
• Say ‘STOP, this is rape!”
9. What to do if the person continues to assault you
• Try to stay calm and decide what to do for the best
• Try to talk the person out of assaulting you
• Run away
• If you feel you can fight back, push away the attacker
• Shout very loudly
• If it is not safe to fight back or get away and you are raped, it is still NOT YOUR FAULT
10. Get Help
• If you are raped, get help as soon as possible. Go to the doctor or hospital and call the police. Call a friend or family member to accompany you to give you support.
Dating can be a fun and enjoyable experience, however at all times do whatever is within your power to ensure it is also safe.
We are one people created equal by God and for the purpose of loving and being loved. Let us work together to heal ourselves, families, communities, nation and world.
For more information check out our website at http://www.bahamascrisiscentre.org or contact us by email at bahamascrisiscentre@yahoo.com. YOU CAN CALL THE CRISIS CENTRE ON 328-0922 OR 322-4999. IF YOU ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER, CALL THE POLICE ON 919 OR 911.
‘Protecting myself with the law’ by Beaumont Todd and Lisa Fox
Protecting Myself from Domestic Violence with the Law
Domestic violence, also known as domestic abuse, spousal abuse, battering, family violence, dating abuse, and intimate partner violence (IPV), is a pattern of behavior which involves the abuse by one partner against another in an intimate relationship such as marriage, cohabitation, dating or within the family. Domestic violence can take many forms, including physical aggression or assault (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects, battery), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation.
Many persons suffer silently from domestic violence in one form or the other. This is either due to not being able to break out of the cycle of violence where they feel trapped or not knowing what rights they have to protect them when they do decide to leave an abusive relationship.
Two forms of protection the law offers individuals leaving an abusive relationship or a circumstance of domestic violence are a Protection Order and a Bind Over Order.
What are they and what is the difference?
Often persons use the terms “protection orders” and “bind over orders” interchangeably but even when a distinction is drawn between both terms, it is not necessarily the right one.
The two terms have different meanings in Bahamian Law, and anyone seeking protection whether by way of a protection order or a bind over order should be familiar with the difference. Only by knowing the difference does an individual know what their options are and also know what the parties have been ordered not to do, when a court order is given.
WHAT IS A PROTECTION ORDER?
A protection order is a far more extreme ruling of the Court than a Bind Over Order used to try to prevent domestic violence. It is this kind of order that many people refers to incorrectly as a “bind over order.” Both of these orders attempt to restrain people (that is to have them bound over to keep the peace).
The purpose of a protection order is to protect the life, limb, and emotional well being of people who have been the victims of domestic violence or who are at risk of such violence. Battered persons or emotionally abused persons may apply for them. In addition, parents of abused children can apply for them.
WHAT DOES A PROTECTION ORDER DO?
Protection orders usually prohibit one person from contacting, or getting near, one or more other persons. For instance, a protection order may prevent an abuser from coming within 500 feet of the abused person, or within 500 feet of the children. If such a geographic restriction is included in a protection order, the protection order’s circle of prohibition (the area where the person who is the subject of the Order cannot go) moves with the person (or people) protected. Thus, a person with a protection order can have a 500-foot circle around them that their abuser cannot enter, no matter where he/she goes.
Protection orders usually have additional terms, including a general order not to commit acts of domestic violence.
Protection orders create what is really a new criminal law that applies to one person, the subject of the order. Violations can subject a person to contempt of court, but, far more importantly, violations are a criminal offense. Indeed, a protection order may often contain language addressed to law enforcement officials in the form of what is known as a penal notice, telling them to take violating offenders into custody. In The Bahamas law enforcement officials can generally be counted on to do exactly that.
WHO CAN APPLY FOR A PROTECTION ORDER?
Both men and women can apply for a protection order. More protection orders are issues against men than against women.
Because protection orders restrain people’s liberty – by limiting where they can go, who they can call, who they can talk to, etc. – they are rare, and a person asking for them has to meet a high standard.
First, no one can get a protection order in The Bahamas just on the belief, suspicion, or fear that domestic violence may occur. Rather, the person who is the to be object of a protection order must have already committed one or more acts of domestic violence and the person asking for a protection order must be able to prove it. However, the evidence that can prove domestic violence can be the victim’s testimony, or the testimony of a witness.
The more evidence a party asking for a protection order has, the better chance of getting the protection order. Going to a doctor or hospital, after a prior assault, for instance, is good evidence that domestic violence has occurred. Similarly, a criminal arrest is helpful, but is not required.
The law recognizes that a person who has engaged in domestic violence in the past is more likely to do so again, as compared to a person who has never done so. But, the past is not a guarantee of future behavior. Therefore, a person asking for a protection order has to show past domestic violence, the risk of it and show the court that domestic violence is likely to occur in the future.
DO I NEED A LAWYER?
You do not need a lawyer to apply for a protection order. But, a lawyer is a very good idea if you think you need such an Order.
An application for a protection order has complicated requirements, and the standard of proof is high. It is far better to have a lawyer on your side, to draft the request for a protection order, and to go to court and argue for the protection order on your behalf, including asking you questions in court, “on the stand.” Your lawyer is also able to cross-examine the person claiming that there is no need for such an Order.
YOU DO NOT NEED A PROTECTION ORDER TO CALL THE POLICE
Although the police often respond more quickly and attentively to people who refer to a protection order, a protection order is not needed to call the police if someone is in danger. If you are being threatened with violence, or are scarred that violence may shortly occur, get help – call 911, protection order or not.
The reason the police responds more efficiency and effectively to protection order violations is that they know from experience that convictions for domestic violence are rare. Proving that someone violated a court-issued protection order, on the other hand, is relatively easy. Therefore victims are encouraged to seek protection orders which can prove to have more effective results than reporting incidents to the police and waiting for the Crown to prosecute abusers.
PROTECTION ORDER PROCEDURES
Protection orders should be applied for in the Magistrates Court.
The person who is the object of a protection Order will then have an opportunity to argue that there is no justification for the Order. Eventually, the Court will decide how long the protection order should last, or whether it should last.
WILL PROTECTION ORDERS PROTECT ME?”
Not necessarily. While protection orders are serious matters, and are generally taken very seriously, they are, in the end, a piece of paper. A violent person can choose to ignore a protection order, take his or her chances of going to jail, and attack someone. Just as laws against murder do not stop all murders, protection orders do not stop all people from committing further acts of domestic violence. They are however a strong deterrent.
Protection Orders are useful, because they often stop people, and because they lead to better police responses. However, no one should consider themselves 100% safe because they succeeded in their efforts to get a Protection Order.
WHAT IS A “BIND OVER ORDER”
This term is used to describe the set of orders the court imposes on one or both of the parties in instances of “altercations” usually.
Bind over orders are not enforceable by the police or Sheriff’s Department. Rather, violations of these Orders can be brought to the attention of the Court, which has the power to order an offender to pay a fine, which is usually attached, to the Order or in some instances jail but the latter is very rare. Bahamian courts are more likely, at the first violation, to simply admonish the offender and tell them to behave better in the future. The Court also has many interim sanctions, including fines.
Both protection orders and bind over orders are available from the Bahamian courts. Both restrict the liberty of the people they reach. However, protection orders are far more restrictive, and have far greater consequences in the event of a violation.
No One Deserves To Be Abused and You have the right to be protected.
We are one people created equal by God and for the purpose of loving and being loved. Let us work together to Heal ourselves, families, communities, nation and world.
If you would like to talk to someone about anything that is bothering you, please call 328-0922 or 322-4999. For more information check out our website at http://www.bahamascrisiscentre.org or contact us. Email us at bahamascrisiscentre@yahoo.com or call us.
Notes from monthly meeting 15th February 2014
Special Guest Speaker was Ms. Michelle Miller – Life Coach
Take time out to take a break. It is okay to say “no” sometimes and listen to your body when you are mentally and/ or physically tired or excited.
Report on recent projects and activities:
Peace Walk
Members of Boy Scout (12-17) + Urban Renewal and Crisis Centre’s Volunteers went to areas in Fox Hill where shooting occurred.
February 8th, 2014 – Bain and Grant’s Town walk along with Urban Renewal.
Theme – “Stop The Violence – Take The Guns Off The Streets”.
Englerston Walk About – March 29th, 2014
Location to be confirmed.
Walk About in Kemp Road and Centreville to be announced at a later date.
Training
Hotline retooling seminar March 1st, 2014 at 10:00am Crisis Centre’s Office.
Mandatory for existing and new hotline volunteers to participate.
Restructuring Volunteers – Current and Dormant/Active and inactive
The office is to call volunteers to obtain information.
Future Projects:
Easter Egg Hunt
Venue Possibilities – Bahamas National Trust or The Botanical Gardens
It was agreed that an Easter Egg Hunt should be planned for April 12, 2014 An email will be sent out for people interested in being a part of the planning of this event.
Tonette Minnis is the chair person for this.
Sandilands Speaker
A suggestion was made to have someone from Sandilands come and speak about how to quickly assess for mental stability when referring a person to a shelter.
Tonette Minnis suggested that a speaker from Sandilands should be invited to come to the March Volunteer meeting. Plan to identify and book that speaker.
Beauty and Barbershop Campaign
Plan to send out an appeal for people to get on this committee.
“Why is talking to your children important” by Tonette Minnis
Very interesting article by one of our volunteers, Tonette Minnis
http://tonetteminnis.wordpress.com
Domestic Violence – Psychological Abuse by Beaumont Todd and Lisa Fox
Domestic Violence – Psychological Abuse
What is emotional Abuse?
Psychological abuse, also referred to as emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder as stated by Wikipedia.com on psychological abuse. Such abuse is often associated with situations of power imbalance, such as abusive relationships, bullying, and abuse in the workplace.
Emotional abuse often times leads to physical abuse which can lead to serious bodily harm and death. Domestic violence takes place within an intimate relationship and tends to get more severe and occur more often as time goes on. It can happen to anyone, in all kinds of relationships, regardless of gender, race, sexuality, social standing or age. Women and children are not the only victims of domestic violence. Men are victims of domestic violence as well.
First of all, the number of incidents of domestic violence against men appears to be so low that it is hard to get reliable statistics. Also, it has taken years to encourage women to report domestic violence whereas nothing has really been done to encourage men to report abuse. The idea that men could be victims of domestic violence is so unbelievable that most men would not think of reporting the situation.
Regardless of age, sex or Gender:
EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE IS ILLEGAL AND CONSTITUTES AN OFFENCE UNDER THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PROTECTION ORDERS ACT (DVPOA) IN THE BAHAMAS.
Healing the Nation
Growing up so often we were the told the phrase, “sticks and stones may break our bones but words will never hurt us.” How untrue this statement has proven to be. In our society where we are taught to suppress or ignore our feelings and emotions, or that they are inappropriate to express in general society or societal arenas, we have left ourselves both vulnerable and incapable of being able to fully functional as both logical and emotional beings.
The very emotions that act as a warning sign when something is amiss in our hearts, as does our nervous system when our bodies are in pain, we are taught to ignore. However the resultant effect of ignoring such a God given system of identifying the state of our hearts and thoughts leave us very vulnerable to both be exposed to and eventually accept emotional abuse as normal or something we may even consider we deserve. Whether this emotional abuse comes from another or even us, inflicting unhealthy words and thoughts upon ourselves.
What Can I do to protect myself?
What is the legal definition of emotional and psychological abuse?
The DVPOA defines emotional and psychological abuse as “emotional or psychological abuse” means a pattern of behavior of any kind, the purpose of which is to undermine the emotional or mental well-being of a person including:
a)Persistent intimidation by the use of abusive or threatening language;
b)Depriving that person of the use of his property;
c) Interfering with or damaging the property of the person;
d)The forced confinement of the person;
e)Making unwelcome and repeated or intimidatory contact with a child or elderly relative of the person;
Who might be guilty of an offence?
The DVPOA applies to partners and/or members of a household. This includes the following:
a)Persons in a common law relationship between a man and woman living with, or who have lived with each other in the same household as if they were husband and wife.
b)A person who would, but for the fact of not living in the same household, be said to be having or have had with a person of the other sex an intimate relationship.
What this means is that the act applies to any intimate relationship, whether married, cohabiting or otherwise. Therefore, a person does not have to be married to or living with their partner in order for the DVPOA to apply.
This will enable an individual to have a protection order or emergency protection order enacted depending upon the urgency of the matter.
How long does it take to have an order for protection granted?
Once an offence has been committed, a victim should make an IMMEDIATE application for a protection order through the magistrate courts. The usual process takes between one to three weeks from the time the initial application is made and the order is granted.
Do victims require legal representation in order to make an application?
No, victims can appear before the Courts on their own along with any relevant documentary evidence to support the application and will be required to make an oath before a Magistrate who will grant the protection order having heard the evidence of the victim and being satisfied that a protection order is necessary. There are circumstances however depending on the nature and seriousness of cases where representation by an attorney will be the preferred route.
What are the benefits of having a protection order?
Once a protection order is granted, a perfected order can be produced to the police and or the department of social services. If the protection order is not obeyed perpetrators may face a fine of up to 5,000 dollars or imprisonment or both. The penalties attached to these orders are very strict and therefore a deterrent to committing further domestic related offence or otherwise breaching an order for protection.
No One Deserves To Be Abused
We are one people created equal by God and for the purpose of loving and being loved. Let us work together to Heal ourselves, families, communities, nation and world.
For more information check out our website at http://www.bahamascrisiscentre.org or contact us. Email us at bahamascrisiscentre@yahoo.com or call us at 328-0922.
Do my parents love me? By Beaumont Todd
THE BAHAMAS CRISIS CENTRE
Do My Parents Love Me
During this time of family and love, we remember the greatest gift that God has given us in the form of His Son. As a parent God taught us the true meaning of love by showing us that with love we give our best. Yet even during a season of love and family there are many children and even adults who ask the question, do my parent’s love me?
WikiHow.com states: “Parents are supposed to love, guide and protect their children. They are supposed to help them grow and develop as an independent person. It would be wonderful if all parents were this way. But let’s be honest: not all parents are. There are many parents who abuse, neglect and even murder their children. There are also many parents who attend to their child(ren)’s needs, but do not love them. We’d love to think that all parents, even the ones who abuse their children, love and care about them deep down, but the truth is there are parents who don’t love their kids, even if they do take care of them (remember, it’s the law). Knowing you’re unloved by your parents hurts. “
For many children and even adults they feel as if their parents never truly loved or cared about them. Although their parents provided all of the material needs they required, emotionally they do not feel truly valued by their parents. In the place of the parents or caregivers in their eyes as long as they are providing what is necessary for their child or children’s material survival they feel they are showing that they love them.
Healing the Nation
How do I know my parents love me?
Sometimes it is difficult for children to believe their parents love them. When they hear words such as “ You are so stupid”, “ I wish you had never been born”, “You are just like your no-good Pa.” “ My life was wonderful before you came along”, “You were a mistake”,” Go away, I can’t look at your work now…I am too busy” and other statements like that, how can they feel loved?
Maybe you feel like this sometimes. How does it make you feel? How does it affect you?
In most cases, when parents say things like that, it is not because they do not love you. They DO love you. It is just that they may be having a bad day. Maybe someone at work annoyed them, maybe the workload is too heavy and they feel they cannot cope. Sometimes parents are going through their own problems with each other. Sometimes they fight all the time.
Many parents, especially mothers, are single parents. This means that they have no support and no help with their children. They may be worrying about money and bills to pay. There are many things that stress parents these days.
This does not mean it is OK for them to call you names or say bad things to you…it is NOT OK. It also does not mean that they do not love you. They DO love you but just do not know how to show it.
Things you should remember:
• Your parents DO love you
• You deserve to be loved
• No one should be saying bad things to you or calling you names
• You are special
• No one should be beating you
• If your parents are stressed out, it is NOT your fault
• Some parents find it difficult to show love because no one showed them love when they were growing up
• This does not mean they do not love you
• Stress can make people say some really bad things to each other but it is not OK
What can happen if you feel your parents do not love you?
If you feel your parents do not love you, you may feel very sad. If this happens, you may:
• Feel lonely and depressed
• Feel that you are a bad person
• Think that no one can ever love you
• Not be able to concentrate in school
• Not eat or sleep well
• Wish you could run away from home
• Feel that no one would understand
• Find yourself crying alot
• Have stomachaches or headaches
It is normal to have any of these feelings.
What can you do if you feel your parents do not love you?
• Try to talk to them about how you feel.
• Tell them it hurts you when they call you names or say bad things to you.
• If you do not feel comfortable talking to them, talk to someone else, such as another
family member, a teacher or pastor
• Write down your feelings and give it to someone you trust.
As parents and guardians life can be very hectic and stressful. We do our best to ensure our children have all of the necessary material aspects of their lives and even more so during this Christmas season. However we must always remember our children need to know that they are loved not just by our actions, but by our words and the feelings and attitudes we show them.
REMEMBER…You are a special individual and everyone deserves to be loved.
We are one people created equal by God and for the purpose of loving and being loved. Let us work together to Heal ourselves, families, communities, nation and world.
If you would like to talk to someone about anything that is bothering you, please call 328-0922 or 322-4999. For more information check out our website at http://www.bahamascrisiscentre.org or contact us. Email us at bahamascrisiscentre@yahoo.com or call us.
Domestic Violence – Gender Based Violence by Beaumont Todd and Lisa Fox
THE BAHAMAS CRISIS CENTRE
Domestic Violence: Gender Based Violence
Domestic violence, also known as domestic abuse, spousal abuse, battering, family violence, dating abuse, and intimate partner violence (IPV), is a pattern of behavior which involves the abuse by one partner against another in an intimate relationship. This can include marriage, cohabitation, dating or within the family. Domestic violence can take many forms, including physical aggression or assault (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects, battery), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation.
Another form of domestic violence is gender based violence. All forms of domestic violence are connected to the cycle of violence that occurs in relationships of all types.
What is gender based violence?
Gender-based violence (GBV) is violence that is directed against a person on the basis of gender. It constitutes a breach of the fundamental right to life, liberty, security, and dignity, equality between women and men, non-discrimination and physical and mental integrity. Although most gender based violence is inflicted by men on women and girls, both males and females can be affected victims.
What is the cycle of violence?
The term cycle of violence refers to repeated and dangerous acts of violence as a cyclical pattern, associated with high emotions and doctrines of retribution or revenge. The pattern, or cycle, repeats and can happen many times during a relationship. Each phase may last a different length of time and over time the level of violence may increase.
What does the cycle of violence look like?
The cycle of violence can be broken into three main phases:
• Tension Building Phase-Woman can sense irritability. Feels she can and must resolve situation. Withdraws from partner. Partner senses her withdrawal. Tension increases. Sometimes a woman may ignite situation to get it over with.
• Explosion Phrase-Shortest of stages lasting from 5 minutes or 5 days. This is usually the stage where the abuse will occur. Abuse ranges from pushing, shoving, kicking, punching, to the use of weapons.
• Honeymoon Phrase-This is the part of the entire cycle where many persons are caught up in the cycle. This makes it difficult to break away from the abuser. During this phrase the abuser usually says, “I’m sorry” and “It will never happen again.” They give assurances of being penitent and regretful. They give you flowers, gifts and usually anything to appease you. The abused gets caught in a cycle of denial of the incident and minimizing the hurt inflicted and the experience.
Due to this repeated cycle many victims are lulled during the honeymoon phase when their abuser(s) act normal and give assurances that everything will be ok and that the abuse will not reoccur.
With domestic and gender based violence on the rise, it is important for victims and potential victims to be aware of their fundamental rights and also of the various legal and other mechanisms available to them.
What Can I do to protect myself?
The Domestic Violence Protection Orders Act 2007 (DVPOA) was enacted by Parliament in 2007, yet many persons are unaware of the various remedies it provides, which can be used as instructive ammunition in assisting the fight against domestic violence.
As a result of this legislation, victims are able to seek and enforce swift justice without being burdened and discouraged by the cumbersome processes of having perpetrators either bound over to keep the peace or otherwise brought before the courts on charges of assault, threats of harm or other domestic related offences.
What constitutes an offence under the DVPOA?
Within the definition of the Act, domestic violence includes physical, sexual, emotional, psychological or financial abuse committed by a person against a spouse, partner, child, or any other person who is a member of the household or dependent. This also would include gender based violence.
What is a protection Order under the DVPOA?
A protection Order is an order of protection for victims who experience domestic violence in the form of a legal injunction which prohibits or requires a party to do or refrain from doing certain acts. A person who does not comply with an order for protection faces penalties which include a fine up to 5,000 dollars or up to 12 months imprisonment.
How long does it take to have an order for protection granted?
Once an offence has been committed, a victim should make an IMMEDIATE application for a protection order through the magistrate courts. The usual process takes between one to three weeks from the time the initial application is made and the order is granted.
What is an emergency protection order?
The courts have the discretion to grant interim protections orders, or “emergency protection orders” on the same day that a victim appears in court. If there is a compelling reason and the victim is in legitimate fear for life or harm, the courts after hearing the evidence on oath in court has the discretion to grant an order for protection prior to having a perpetrator officially brought before the courts.
Do victims require legal representation in order to make an application?
No, victims can appear before the Courts on their own along with any relevant documentary evidence to support the application and will be required to make an oath before a Magistrate who will grant the protection order having heard the evidence of the victim and being satisfied that a protection order is necessary. There are circumstances however depending on the nature and seriousness of cases where representation by an attorney will be the preferred route.
What are the benefits of having a protection order?
Once a protection order is granted, a perfected order can be produced to the police and or the department of social services. If the protection order is not obeyed perpetrators may face a fine of up to 5,000 dollars or imprisonment or both. The penalties attached to these orders are very strict and therefore a deterrent to committing further domestic related offence or otherwise breaching an order for protection.
No One Deserves To Be Abused
We are one people created equal by God and for the purpose of loving and being loved. Let us work together to Heal ourselves, families, communities, nation and world.
If you would like to talk to someone about anything that is bothering you, please call 328-0922 or 322-4999. For more information check out our website at http://www.bahamascrisiscentre.org or contact us. Email us at bahamascrisiscentre@yahoo.com or call us.
Bahamas Crisis Centre 