Do my parents love me? By Beaumont Todd
THE BAHAMAS CRISIS CENTRE
Do My Parents Love Me
During this time of family and love, we remember the greatest gift that God has given us in the form of His Son. As a parent God taught us the true meaning of love by showing us that with love we give our best. Yet even during a season of love and family there are many children and even adults who ask the question, do my parent’s love me?
WikiHow.com states: “Parents are supposed to love, guide and protect their children. They are supposed to help them grow and develop as an independent person. It would be wonderful if all parents were this way. But let’s be honest: not all parents are. There are many parents who abuse, neglect and even murder their children. There are also many parents who attend to their child(ren)’s needs, but do not love them. We’d love to think that all parents, even the ones who abuse their children, love and care about them deep down, but the truth is there are parents who don’t love their kids, even if they do take care of them (remember, it’s the law). Knowing you’re unloved by your parents hurts. “
For many children and even adults they feel as if their parents never truly loved or cared about them. Although their parents provided all of the material needs they required, emotionally they do not feel truly valued by their parents. In the place of the parents or caregivers in their eyes as long as they are providing what is necessary for their child or children’s material survival they feel they are showing that they love them.
Healing the Nation
How do I know my parents love me?
Sometimes it is difficult for children to believe their parents love them. When they hear words such as “ You are so stupid”, “ I wish you had never been born”, “You are just like your no-good Pa.” “ My life was wonderful before you came along”, “You were a mistake”,” Go away, I can’t look at your work now…I am too busy” and other statements like that, how can they feel loved?
Maybe you feel like this sometimes. How does it make you feel? How does it affect you?
In most cases, when parents say things like that, it is not because they do not love you. They DO love you. It is just that they may be having a bad day. Maybe someone at work annoyed them, maybe the workload is too heavy and they feel they cannot cope. Sometimes parents are going through their own problems with each other. Sometimes they fight all the time.
Many parents, especially mothers, are single parents. This means that they have no support and no help with their children. They may be worrying about money and bills to pay. There are many things that stress parents these days.
This does not mean it is OK for them to call you names or say bad things to you…it is NOT OK. It also does not mean that they do not love you. They DO love you but just do not know how to show it.
Things you should remember:
• Your parents DO love you
• You deserve to be loved
• No one should be saying bad things to you or calling you names
• You are special
• No one should be beating you
• If your parents are stressed out, it is NOT your fault
• Some parents find it difficult to show love because no one showed them love when they were growing up
• This does not mean they do not love you
• Stress can make people say some really bad things to each other but it is not OK
What can happen if you feel your parents do not love you?
If you feel your parents do not love you, you may feel very sad. If this happens, you may:
• Feel lonely and depressed
• Feel that you are a bad person
• Think that no one can ever love you
• Not be able to concentrate in school
• Not eat or sleep well
• Wish you could run away from home
• Feel that no one would understand
• Find yourself crying alot
• Have stomachaches or headaches
It is normal to have any of these feelings.
What can you do if you feel your parents do not love you?
• Try to talk to them about how you feel.
• Tell them it hurts you when they call you names or say bad things to you.
• If you do not feel comfortable talking to them, talk to someone else, such as another
family member, a teacher or pastor
• Write down your feelings and give it to someone you trust.
As parents and guardians life can be very hectic and stressful. We do our best to ensure our children have all of the necessary material aspects of their lives and even more so during this Christmas season. However we must always remember our children need to know that they are loved not just by our actions, but by our words and the feelings and attitudes we show them.
REMEMBER…You are a special individual and everyone deserves to be loved.
We are one people created equal by God and for the purpose of loving and being loved. Let us work together to Heal ourselves, families, communities, nation and world.
If you would like to talk to someone about anything that is bothering you, please call 328-0922 or 322-4999. For more information check out our website at http://www.bahamascrisiscentre.org or contact us. Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or call us.