Home > Notes > Building confidence and self esteem by Beaumont Todd

Building confidence and self esteem by Beaumont Todd

THE BAHAMAS CRISIS CENTRE

Building Confidence and Esteem

One of the most important gifts you can ever give a child is letting them know that they are loved and to help them develop a good self-confidence. For many persons we sometimes do not understand just how important having a good self-esteem about oneself affects the quality of an individual’s life. The way we view ourselves affects how we live and what we do at every level.

Why is self-confidence and self-esteem important?

It is important to be confident because you allow yourself to take more risks, meet new people, and try new things in life. When you are comfortable and confident with yourself and body it make you much happier and you are able to enjoy everything life has to offer without worrying about what other people may think.

Self-esteem is a feeling. It is our own idea of our worth. How good do we feel about ourselves? Do we believe we can succeed? Do we believe we are loved? How we feel affects how we act and behave towards others. It also affects how we learn, work and play. People who have high self-esteem are sure of themselves. They feel confident. They tend to have good relationships. They are less negatively influenced by their peers. They tend to make good decisions. People with low self-esteem may feel alone and unloved. They may be withdrawn and feel they have no control over what they get in life. People with high self-esteem feel good about themselves. So they are usually treated well by others. People with high self-esteem tend to expect to succeed in school and career.

Self-esteem is really a cycle where having high self-esteem helps a person to succeed. In turn our success raises self-esteem, whereas also when a person constantly experiences failures their self-esteem is greatly lowered. Self-esteem makes a great impact on our lives. It affects our relationships, our school work, our friendships and how successful we become.

Healing the Nation

How does self-esteem affect us?

High self-esteem will give our children the confidence they need to succeed and be happy and content in their world. Research has shown that children with low self-esteem may do poorly in school even though they are very smart. This is because children with low self-esteem may feel anxious, worried, pressured and fearful of failure. This can occur particularly during teen-age years, when peer pressure and body image seem so important. High self-esteem helps us to have healthy relationships with others and to be fun to be around. People with high self-esteem tend to be very popular with their peers. People with low self-esteem have the need to seek approval from others. Children with low self-esteem are more often affected by peer pressure, especially during their teenage years. Self-esteem also affects our creativity. Being creative means taking some risks and we need to be confident that people will accept us whether we are successful or not. That allows us to try new things without being fearful of failure. People with low self-esteem may not be willing to take risks for fear of failing so they tend to be less creative. They are afraid to appear different and so they try to be the same as their friends.

Signs of High Self-Esteem

• Proud of what he or she achieves
• Takes responsibility
• Is able to deal with challenges
• Shows feelings easily but appropriately
• Is eager to try new things

Signs of Low Self-Esteem

• Avoids situations that cause anxiety
• Puts down his or her talents
• Blames others for failures
• Is easily influenced by others
• Is defensive and easily frustrated

In order to develop a healthy sense of self, we must also develop a healthy and good self-esteem for ourselves.

Conditions we need to develop good confidence and esteem

• Connectedness means that a person feels they belong in a positive way and that they are important to others.
• Uniqueness means we see and respect the things that make us special and different and that we are liked by others for having these qualities.
• Power comes from knowing we can positively affect events in our lives.
• Having Good Role-Models provide us with positive examples for our lives and help us to develop our own value system.
How to build confidence?

At Home

Parents with high self-esteem are likely to have children with high self-esteem and confidence. They should practice unconditional love and acceptance of their children, as well as clearly defined limits in the home, with discipline being administered not in anger and abuse, but in love and concern for the child’s well-being and development.

At School

Teachers with high self-esteem who like themselves and what they are doing are able to inspire the children they teach. They know how to motivate their students.

Teen Issues

Body image is very important to teens particularly. Many are not happy with how they look…their weight, their height, face, skin, hair etc. Some peers can be very cruel with their comments and children with low self-esteem may become depressed as a result of negative comments. Teachers should always encourage their students to respect each other and to appreciate that each person is unique and wonderfully made, with special talents and abilities. High self-esteem will give children the confidence and skills they need to cope with the future.

Building Confidence in ourselves and our children is a gift that no one can ever take away.

We are one people created equal by God and for the purpose of loving and being loved. Let us work together to Heal ourselves, families, communities, nation and world.

If you would like to talk to someone about anything that is bothering you, please call 328-0922 or 322-4999. For more information check out our website at http://www.bahamascrisiscentre.org or contact us. Email us at bahamascrisiscentre@yahoo.com or call us.

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